The Work of Sorcery
by Fairykind
Summary: Sometimes Merlin wonders if Uther lives purely to blame everything on sorcery...
1. It's Raining, It's Pouring

**Author's note: Basically, I was bored and this is what happened. The first two paragraphs are essentially about poop and rain...yeah...I'm weird.**

It was not a pleasant day. The sky had insisted on pouring rain the entire week, and that hadn't excused Merlin from his outdoor jobs. He was currently mucking out the stables, soaking wet and stinking of manure. Merlin was not a happy person. The rain had made a rather disgusting mess of the horse dung and it refused to cooperate. Grumbling under his breath, Merlin wiped the excrement from his hands and threw the shovel down, glad to have finally finished.

True to his luck, the shovel landed in a large mud puddle (which, I might add, wasn't entirely made of mud). Merlin was almost afraid to touch it as it looked uncannily like a bad case of diarrhea. He eventually decided to leave the shovel. The walk back to the castle wasn't exactly rainbows and butterflies, either. His clothes were soaked and had developed a habit of clinging to him uncomfortably. And he stunk.

By the time he reached the front doors, he had successfully stepped in five puddles, nearly lost his boot, and tripped over a crate of tomatoes. Merlin pushed the door open and stormed up to the rooms he shared with Gaius, ignoring the mud he was tracking in. Let Arthur yell at him, see if he cares. Merlin was in a truly foul mood.

"What has gotten you so worked up, Merlin?" Gaius asked, studying a book on science and magic.

"Arthur! He actually expects me to muck out his dumb stables in this weather! Is he really so thick-headed to think it is possible to do that when it's practically flooded out there?" Merlin ranted, pacing angrily.

"I believe part of the reason he asked you to do it is because he knows it would be harder due to the rain," Gaius replied, never once looking up from his book. Merlin was prepared to begin letting off some steam in the form of some quite colorful language at Arthur's expense when the door swung open and there stood the prince himself.

"My father wishes to speak with you both. I believe it has something to do with the weather," he reported. If looks could kill, Arthur would be dead ten times over. Merlin glared at him with more venom than a snake. As usual, Arthur was completely oblivious. 'How does he dress himself?' Merlin wondered. 'Oh wait, he doesn't. I do that for him, too.' Sometimes, he really hated his job. And to think, Uther had considered it a reward.

"Tell him we will be there shortly," said Gaius. Arthur gave a slight nod and left.

"I really don't like him right now," Merlin fumed.

"Not many people do, except for Gwen and Uther," Gaius agreed. Merlin and Gaius followed Arthur out of their rooms and down the hallway. They reached the throne room to find Uther perched in the throne, crown shining on his head. Merlin bowed and Gaius followed suit.

"I wish to speak with you about this week's weather," began Uther. "It is most unusual. I am beginning to suspect sorcery is involved."

"Oh, my goodness…" Merlin heard Arthur mumble to himself. He struggled to keep a straight face.

"Sire, you can't possibly believe this is related to magic at all. It is simply an uncharacteristic bout of rain, nothing more," Gaius assured him.

"I do not recall any stretch of rain occurring before," Uther argued.

"Let's say, hypothetically, a sorcerer is involved. What could he or she possibly gain by causing this? If anything, it will only help the plants," Merlin said.

"I agree," Gaius said. "Rain can do us no harm. With all due respect, sire, I do not think you have a reason to worry."

Uther thought for a moment. "I suppose you are right. Carry on."

As soon as they were out of Uther's earshot, Merlin burst into laughter.

"What's so amusing?" Arthur questioned.

"Uther! He is just so amazingly paranoid! Magic rain? Seriously?"

Arthur didn't share Merlin's sense of humor. "That is my father and your king. He deserves more respect than you are giving him."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't imagine blaming sorcery for rain! What's next? 'Merlin's breathing! It must be sorcery.'" Merlin said. Arthur still wasn't amused.

"My father has a right to be cautious." A moment later, a very wet and bedraggled Gwaine slogged towards them.

"Gwaine! Does Uther know you're in here? Last I checked, he'd banned you," Merlin greeted.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I guess I'd better go," Gwaine replied.

"Wait, how did you even get in here?" Arthur asked.

"Window," Gwaine replied.

"We're on the fifth floor."

"Sorcery!" Merlin cried, earning a laugh even from Arthur.

"Did someone say sorcery?" Uther asked from the throne room.

"Nope," the four replied in unison.

"Do I hear Gwaine?" Uther interrogated.

"No!" Gwaine yelled, not realizing his extremely stupid mistake until it was too late.

"Uh, it was just me doing an impression of Gwaine!" Merlin lied.

"Quite convincing…are you using sorcery?" came Uther's reply. Everyone within earshot face-palmed.


	2. Only a Butterfly

**Author's note: I wasn't going to continue this but I did anyway. Enjoy!**

The rain had finally let up, and Camelot was experiencing its first rays of sunshine in over a week. Merlin had gladly opened every reachable window to let in the much-welcomed sun. Arthur hadn't even asked him to muck out the stables yet. It was the closest thing to a perfect day as you could get. Of course, it wouldn't last long. Uther had another problem. And, identical to yesterday's events, Merlin and Gaius had been summoned to the throne room to speak with him about the issue.

When they arrived before Uther, the first thing Merlin noticed was Arthur. He stood off to the side, holding a glass jar. Inside the jar was a blue butterfly. Arthur set It on the ground in front of Uther.

"Explain," Uther demanded.

"Explain what, sire? It's only a butterfly," Gaius said.

"It was a worm mere days ago. Now it has transformed into this…winged beast," the king replied, turning up his nose at the insect. "I can only assume sorcery was involved."

Unlike the previous day, Merlin couldn't contain his amusement.

"What are you laughing at?" Uther snapped.

"I'm sorry, sir, but it's just a butterfly! Caterpillars turn into them all the time! It's just what they do. Its normal," he explained.

"Then how does it do it without the aid of magic?" Uther questioned.

"Nature," Merlin replied. "Like how babies grow into adults."

"Unless you're Merlin. Then you only get about halfway," Arthur interjected.

"How hilarious," Merlin replied sarcastically.

"Enough!" Uther held up a hand. "Now, back to the matter at hand."

Gaius cleared his throat. "Sir, as both Merlin and I have explained, it is only an insect. Nothing to worry yourself over."

"You're just paranoid, father," Arthur said.

"And you are disrespectful. I am only being cautious. I will not see my kingdom fall to the evils of magic," Uther responded, his tone a bit harsh.

"Well, I would surely hope Camelot is safe from a butterfly," Merlin said.

"As would I. But I am prepared for the worst. This insect shall be executed immediately," Uther declared. Arthur and Merlin stared at him in disbelief.

"Sire, you can't possibly-" Merlin was interrupted by Uther talking over him.

"It will be executed with no further questioning."

Arthur bent over and retrieved the jar. He unscrewed the lid, prepared to step on the butterfly when it tried to fly away.

"What are you doing!" Uther shrieked. "Put that lid back on at once!"

"But, father, I was only going to step on it and kill it," Arthur protested. Neither of the men noticed the insect as it flitted up out of the open jar. It flew over to the king and landed on the side of his head. Merlin bit his lip to keep himself from giggling.

"Um, sire…," Gaius began, gesturing to his head. Uther froze and raised a tentative hand to the butterfly. Arthur watched with bated breath, still holding the empty jar. Uther's hand connected with the insect's wing and he practically leapt a mile into the air.

"Capture it!" he cried, swatting furiously. Merlin chuckled. This was hilarious. Uther, Camelot's great king, was scared of a butterfly. Eventually, Arthur was able to capture it. He made sure to screw the lid on the jar extra tightly this time. Secretly, Arthur had found the situation at hand quite humorous, but had refused to show any signs of mirth. He knew his father well enough to know that laughing at him wasn't the best course of action.

"What would you like me to do with it, then?" Arthur inquired.

"Lock it in the dungeon. It must pay for its crime," Uther replied.

Merlin laughed. "What crime?"

"Sorcery. And making a fool of its king," Uther said, straightening his crown. Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"We have told you this is no sorcery, Uther, it is merely nature."

But Uther wasn't buying it. "You're in on it, aren't you? Both of you."

Merlin looked around. "In on what?"

"The sorcery!"

Merlin and Gaius sighed loudly. "THERE. IS. NO. SORCERY. INVOLVED," Merlin explained, slowly and deliberately, accentuating every syllable sharply.

"Put it in the dungeon anyway," Uther commanded.

"As you wish." Merlin followed Arthur down to the dungeon to imprison the fraudulent insect.

"I am pretty sure your father is the only king who has ever arrested a butterfly," Merlin said.

"My father is a unique man indeed," Arthur agreed.


End file.
